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Forgiveness is a much-admired virtue. Those who have read or seen UNBROKEN know that

Zamperini had much to forgive, but apparently he has and now claims to be in some sense healed. The survivors of the Charleston church massacres had much to forgive, but they claim to have done so and believe they are the better for it.  Many of us have matters to forgive—and to be forgiven for.  Perhaps the most famous use  of the word is in the Gospels. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." But what does the word mean?

Forgive and forget, we say, and that may work for the little things, but try to forget the out-of-the-blue infidelity, the horrendous murder of your child, a relative who has tormented you all of your life, and so on. Cruel, painful acts. One does not forget such. To pretend they did not happen is deceit. To say, “Oh well. Don’t let it happen again,” if possible, ignores justice and our human nature. What is left? 

Forgiveness is left. Though examples are abundant, definitions are difficult, for the actual act or process lies within the deep, immeasurable reaches of the mind.  Somehow, forgiving means not being angry anymore. Somehow, forgiving means not seeking revenge or retaliation. Somehow, forgiving means you hurt me, but I do not want to hurt you. Somehow forgiving means you may not love me, but I love you.

Think of someone you have forgiven (if you can) or not forgiven (if you can). Then you will know what the word means.