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This seems like an odd thing to say, paradoxical, almost nonsense, yet it is closer to home than at first one might suspect. When we think that someone else is in some way better than we are, on some matter that is at the moment important, on the basis, perhaps, of very subtle distinctions, we tend to become, as Buechner reminds us, a little resentful. In those moments we try to find ways of making ourselves look better and the other worse. It is, alas, a very human mixture of envy and jealousy. 

Much of the problem is common self-deception. We minimize the qualities of the other while maximizing our own. We think “it’s not that big a deal” while simultaneously thinking  (about our self) “that was clever, smooth, good, etc.”.  Of course, it is more at one time than another, more unnoticed than noticed, more with some issues than others, more with some people than other people, but underneath it is human nature. Someone else’s virtue triggers our vice. Ever had the feeling? I have.

This weakness has been with us for a long time  (cf. Whispers no. 12.) The way out has also been with us for a long time.  It is called the Golden Rule.