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Civilization is an organization of civil people, citizens. At first that only meant people who lived together in a town rather than separately in the country. But to live together they had to get along together, and from those beginnings there have developed various codes of citizen or civil behavior, civility. Courteous, polite, gentlemanly, ladylike, respectful, well behaved—these are adjectives that go with civility. Civility means being polite and not interrupting others who are speaking—even when what you have to say is more important than whatever the other might have to say. Civil people do not insult or berate their opponent. (In campaign debates, for example.) Civil people practice—or try to practice—the Golden Rule.

Civil behavior is voluntary, for kindness and decency cannot be compelled. Little boys, perhaps, may be compelled to be polite and refrain from violence, and if all goes well, they will develop habits of civil behavior, but that does not come naturally. It must be taught. Even then, under sufficient stress the “veneer of civilization,” will fade, and we will fall back into modes of aggression and hostility. When the forms of civility are violated or even destroyed intentionally or indirectly, then disorder prevails, and there is, as Samuel Johnson said long ago, little hope of a return to kindness and decency. 

Some governments depend on civility or voluntary respect for the other. Democracies, for example. Others, fascist states, for example, depend on power and force.  Sometimes a civilization must sacrifice civility for a time to survive. The just war or police action, are instances. But the overriding guide to an orderly civilization is civility, and that is not ever guaranteed, not even in the USA, not even today.